A Wednesday from three years ago

It was 3 years ago and exactly on this day a father and daughter went hand-in-hand to know the secrets of the future. It was a long walk. And an even longer wait. And finally when it was announced the world started to look uniquely blurry yet rainbow-colored.

Can't believe it's been three years since that day. It seems like yesterday. The fact that I was expecting was surreal. All I knew at that point of 45 days of pregnancy was that it caused a lot of head-rush feeling and nausea. Other than that I felt no different than before. But the way my family treated me for those 3 days since I knew I was pregnant and until I got it confirmed was funny and truthfully a little over the top. I used to think c'mon it's just a blob. And then the scan appointment was made.

While waiting in the scan place for the Sonographer,who was already two hours late, I felt for the first time that something special was happening in me. That could also be due to the fact that my bladder was more than full and bursting. But somehow it sunk in me that I could be a Mother soon. And while that was overwhelming enough, when the doctor, who perpetually had a serious grave look, called me in for the scan, I stood up and my knees were wobbly. That scared me and more than me, it scared everyone around me when I stumbled and almost hit the door.

I'm not able to recollect fully how I felt form then on until the announcement. All I can think of was 'Why is the liquid they just squirted on my lower belly so damn cold?' and 'Do people who wear hearing-aids tend to be loud and is that why the doctor is yelling out some random numbers from the monitor to be noted down by the assistant who appeared to have healthy hearing. ' and more than anything else I was hoping and praying that the scan would be over soon so that I can pee. The pressure on the stomach was more than uncomfortable. In all these all-important wonderment I never realized that I had been so worried about the results and had my teeth clenched.

So finally when the doctor removed the machine from my belly, instead of rushing out, as I ought to have, I lay still not even realizing the test was over. When he turned and noticed that I had not risen from my bed, he gave me a look (which I'm now sure was a kind look) and said 'Paapa ulla iruku. Nalla iruku. Heartbeat nalla iruku'.

I replayed those words in my mind a hundred times as I was getting dressed, as I refreshed and as I walked out to tell my dad who was looking like he had aged a lot during those 15 minutes.

And then I cried.